I was just being stupid, but it came out real well. A quick fix, save list, bet you can put in your purse. Give it a read, let me know what you thought.



DISCLAIMER: This article does not intend to generalize or demean whatsoever traits/character observed in any community, cluster or gender that recognizes itself with males. It is not written by any leader of a feminist party but solely by an individual being, who recognises herself as a girl with certain POVs. Rest is history. Period.
Here goes the list of “categories” you should not risk dating :


1.     The epic “ultra cool” dude :
Say NO to the guy who looks out of this world. Does he have trimmed brows, wears a tight black shirt which is half open giving a peek to his waxed chest, subtly red lips, and heavily gelled hair-do? Believe me that amazing shaped chocolate boys are best for posters and beautiful dreams, not really a good option when you are looking for a relationship. You don’t want your man to beat you on make-tips or do you?
2.     The “know it all” dude :
Yes, girls do have a penchant for intelligent men but some men just end up taking too much out of this clue. You can find them in a business meeting, college canteen, roadside shacks, university lawns, music cafes and a couple of other places. Their topics will revolve from the universe to the atom in an ant’s body. They will try to floor you by giving facts which Wikipedia is even unaware of! On the first meet, you will feel, “this” IS the man but soon you will pity yourself for dating a human-Google. Worst part is, this will generate search results without queries, end up with a pain in your ears and garbage information in your mind.
3.     The “critic master” dude :
Discuss work with a guy, whom you are considering to date. Throw questions at him (gather the best possible answers beforehand) and see how he responds. Catch him off guards by asking random questions on his field of work or business. Check how he responds. If the conversation ends on him criticizing your views and ideas badly, be sure to bid him a not-so-sweet goodbye. Who would like to be with a lame debater? They will be nothing but a heart wrenching, life spoiling experience.
4.     The “Rock star” dude:
Okay, so you just met this very interesting person, who spends days,      evenings and nights with guitars, sings songs whose lyrics makes you wonder what exactly that might mean, who is a weed addict and says art is a synonym for hallucination, in short a wannabe. Yes, you being the starry eyed teenager, might find this extremely intriguing, worth exploring but would you like to see your man flooring and wooing other women? Or who might even at times forget your birthday since he was high? Would you?
5.     The “star of the party” dude:
It’s very important to have these guys in a party but they are a nuance to have in life. You would love to be in his gang of friends but lord save you if you want to see the morning sun from his bedroom’s window. They will use the best and the most innovative pick up lines, hunt you down, flatter you, bear your bills for the night, date you for a couple of weeks at most months until they spot another cute lady in a LBD from another party. Save yours tears from going down the shot glass, say NO to his advances.
6.     The “I am the best” dude:
Well, these are pretty easy to spot. This breed can speak for hours without giving breaks for listening. After every two lines or so you will be enlightened about his likes, dislikes, opinions, family, friends, choices, habits, pros so on and so forth. They have taken the concept of “Life is an open book” damn too seriously and they won’t leave any chance to live up to the phrase.  It’s amazing to know your guy well but you won’t like to be only on the receiving end. Say NO to these sorts, if you don’t wish to pen his biography.
7.     The extremely “fit and conscious” dude:
You can meet these sorts in gyms, parks, golf matches rarely in your neighborhood ice-cream parlour. You will be amazed by the effort they put in maintaining themselves. I dare you go out on a date with him for lunch/dinner. Brace yourself for immense embarrassment when his OCD over food comes out in public. From the size of lettuce leaves to the salt contain, he will have problems with all. If you don’t want to be the one cooking a fitness cuisine for the rest of your life, say NO outright.
8.     The “Nerd” dude:
I understand how some of us fall for the guy with spectacles and beards but some of those which can be termed as “nerds” or “geeks” are best to be met at literary meets and forget. Intellectual innuendos are best with cookies and coffees but you will fail to appreciate these erudite when you want to get mushy but what you will actually get is a Shakespearean piece with Victorian age idiosyncrasies. If you really don’t want to become a library of knowledge and frustration say NO.
9.     The “Tech-master” dude:
You know this super awesome guy who is a tech-savvy. He speaks less about himself and more about the trending technologies. Wow! These are best when you are considering to refer to people for your know-how about particular gadgets. Sane thing to do with them is to, take down their number, save it on your phone as tech-weirdo and only remember when you need help or vice versa. Dating these sorts is a strict NO.
10.  The “Old is Gold” dude:
Last but not the least, I completely understand love is beyond age, colour of hair, wrinkles on the skin so on and so forth but dating a man 40 years your age is not a very wise thing to do. I know how stupid same age guys can be but the “rich”, “old” lonely man you met at the pub is no way a safe bet. I have gallons of reasons behind these and most of them, if revealed can almost get me killed. (Girls, you know right?)  Still, if you really want to do a bit more brainstorming on this, put in your mail id in the comment box, we can carry forward the whole conversation! But, beware, if an elderly man makes a pass at you, say NO at least 10 times. (They might need time to register it).
All said and done, I guess this was enough to cut off 90% possibility of finding a guy but you know what, you can bypass this bunch and make your life easier. I truly hope, every one of you take this in good spirit. Cheers!
 Sudeshna “

2 Comments Add yours

  1. wh1skey says:

    haha! that was an excellent read. and i daresay i loved how you identified people. the ten types and all,ubercool! but i do believe i don’t fit in either of them. should i be worried?

    1. creepycouch says:

      Thanks! you should be rather relieved 🙂

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